Side Effects
by IssyBell91
Summary: Basically about Blair rebelling, re-written the first chapter! please review ! Rated M for future chapters!


Ok, I wasn't happy about The way the first chapter of this story was written so I decided to re-write it. i hope you still like it and review.

I own nothing if I did Mitch Hewer would also star in gossip girl and Ed Westwick would be all mine!!Damn I own nothing!! Grr! lol!!

Lyrics still belong to Mariah Carey!!

Serena sighed and slumped down on the sofa. Anger filled her body and she threw her phone across the room.

"Damn it Blair" She muttered to herself.

It had been a week since she last spoke to her best friend, and two weeks since she last saw her. Blair was becoming what Serena was the previous year. At first it was just little things like missing class, then she started skipping school drinking and partying all night and doing god knows what with random guy's she was meeting at clubs. Damn Chuck, Serena thought to herself. Serena thought back to that night, she had arranged a party in the hope of bringing everyone back together, only she failed miserably. That night was meant to bring everyone together, instead it did the opposite it drove everyone apart and drove Blair to self-destruction. Yes, Chuck had defiantly out done himself this time. With that a massive argument ensued between Blair and Chuck. He had humiliated her for the last time. Serena wanted to kill Chuck for what he had done. She sighed, there was nothing she could do now. The shit has already hit the fan, she thought to herself while quietly curing Chucks name.

Serena desperately wanted her best friend back, but she had slowly began to realise that may never happen. Blair had changed and no one apart from Serena seemed to care, well that's what it felt like to her anyway.

Grabbing her purse Serena got up and headed out of her house, she thought to herself even though Blair had changed she still wanted her friend in her life no matter what. And with that she headed to the Waldorf residence.

"Sorry Serena, she's not in at the moment. I'll tell her you called round when she comes back if you want." Eleanor sighed, Serena had never seen Eleanor like this. She actually seemed upset.

"Uumm, yeah ok. Do you know where she is?" Serena asked quietly.

"I don't know, I haven't seen her in three days, but she texted me a while ago she said something about a party at Scarlet's and not to wait up." It was then that Serena knew that Eleanor cared about her daughter, in that instant she knew that Eleanor was finally seeing Blair but that it may be a little to late. The sadness in her eye's made Serena want to crawl into a ball and die. If she hadn't arranged that stupid party, if Chuck wasn't such an ass Blair wouldn't be acting this way. Somehow Serena felt as though it was something that was going to happen eventually with or without her meddling.

"Alright, I'll head over there. Maybe she's still there." Serena said half heartedly.

_And I dealt with it like a kid  
I wished I could fly away but instead  
I kept my tears inside cause I knew if I  
Started I'd keep cryin' for the rest of my  
Life with you I finally built up the strength  
To walk away don't regret it  
But I still live with the side effects_

She sat behind a pillar and was engulfed in darkness. She had come to party but found she wasn't in the mood. Blair swirled the glass around in her hand, and watched as the blue liquid moved in circles. Suddenly she was pulled from her thoughts, her phone vibrated for the fiftieth time that night. She knew Serena was worried, but frankly she didn't give a shit. She had enough of being little Blair Waldorf trying to please everyone. Although she hated Chuck she couldn't help but feel a little thankful for what he did, if he hadn't done it she would never have broken away from her fake fairytale to see that she wasn't living the life she wanted. Although she didn't quite understand why having a sex tape of you and a certain Bass grace a wide screen tv in front of all your peers, make you want to change your life. But none the less it did. Blair realised she didn't live up to other peoples expectations and they certainly didn't live up to hers.

Some may say she's rebelling but to Blair it's like she's finally found herself, like she belongs. She shakes her head slightly. Damn I don't make any sense, she said to herself. Blair always had a wild side to her, that side of her always made her feel like she was being true to herself because deep down that's who she really was. But she locked that part of herself away, because in everyone's eye's she was supposed to be the perfect little princess and Serena was the wild one.

_Wakin' up scared some nights  
Still dreamin' 'bout the violent times  
Still a little protective 'bout the people  
That I let inside  
Still a little defensive  
Thinkin' folks be tryin' to run my life  
Still a little depressed  
Inside I fake a smile and deal with the side effects_

_Vacant inside no one was there  
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet  
Once in a while put up a fight  
It's just too much night after night_

_After a while I would just lie  
You were dead wrong said you were right  
Did what I could just to survive  
Couldn't believe this was my life_

_Flickering like a candle  
Doin' my best to handle  
Sleepin with the enemy  
Aware that he was smothering  
Every last part of me  
So I broke away and finally  
Found the strength to breathe_

She swirled the glass around one more time before downing it's content, then made her way to the bar. She felt someone squeeze her shoulders and she instantly turned around to see who it was. And there he stood in all his glory, Carter Baizen. She found herself forming an unlikely friendship with the USE bad boy. To Blair he was the only person keeping her from going completely insane. There was nothing between them but friendship, he let Blair be herself with him without judging her like everyone else did and it was like a breath of fresh air. They partied together, talked and even shoped together. He partied just as hard as she did but always looked out for her especially as he knew there were some only willing to take advantage of the former Queen B. Carter wasn't half as bad as everyone made out. It was quite cliché he was a recovering drug addict and she was a recovering bulimic and together they saved each other from themselves. No one knew it but they had both been broken by people they loved and to ease the pain they did what came naturally to them, they push away those who try to help and act out. Carter taught her to look at life differently, she had become a female version of himself and was a force to be reckoned with. He taught her to take what she wanted without letting feelings cloud her judgement and he taught her to have fun without worrying about the consequences. Carter told her love was overated and that the only thing that comes with it was hurt and destruction, Blair found herself slowly agreeing with him. She had always believed in fairytales but look where that got her, she learned to take instead of people taking from her. Blair wasn't always sure she liked the person she was becoming but with every doubt came a sharp reminder of why she had become this person.

"Why so down B?" Carter said slowly a smirk appearing on his less than angelic face.

"Why's love overated C? So many questions,so little time for awnsers."

"Quit the wallowing B, it's not becoming." He said frowning.

"Alright alright, you win. I cave." Rolling her eye's.

"Want a lift home? We shall party another night, this bash is totally ass."

"Yeah ok. Guess I should face my dear mother." She said sarcasticly.

_Forgive but I can't forget  
Everyday I deal with this  
I live with the side effects  
But I ain't gon let them get the best of me_

_I kept my tears inside cause I knew if I  
Started I'd keep cryin' for the rest of my  
Life with you I finally built up the strength  
To walk away don't regret it  
But I still live with the side effects_

_Wakin' up scared some nights  
Still dreamin' 'bout the violent times  
Still a little protective 'bout the people  
That I let inside  
Still a little defensive  
Thinkin' folks be tryin' to run my life  
Still a little depressed  
Inside I fake a smile and deal with the side effects_


End file.
